I played like crap at the gig, which featured a pre-party for a huge fashion show at the uni. I had planned on using a couple of the new skills, and thought I might feel confident.
Well--this was partially the case, and partially not. I didn't feel completely dwarfed by Max--and felt somewhere between him and Jimmy on the social gamut. But Max definitely led the interactions with all women in the room--while Jimmy hung around him and I stayed back doing my own thing.
I noticed some things about the interactions. They looked NORMAL--as in he's geared towards this kind of chatting. Not weird, or gay, or forced like some of these pickup videos I've been watching.
A gorgeous brunette was the one running the party--I can't remember what he said to her, but the interactino was strong, and a bit flirtatious--after general exchanges of names, he observed "you're wearing leather trousers", and asked if she's coming to the union afterwards...she said the west end--some banter about which bar...whatever. No "close" as it were, but that's not the point. There were clearly no HANGUPS there about talking to this girl, or any other in the room. I saw him talk to 3....one wasn't all that attractive, but simply "You work in the union!" the girl was clearly fixed on what he was saying.
Now he's a good looking guy, and has style. But that's not all of it--it was the presence, and the normal-ness of the interaction that got me. I think he even got a number after the whole thing. Nothing was forced, or trying....just a person who had never developed the same kinds of hangups I did. Afterwards, I started dwelling a bit on--well, I won't talk to people in the room since he's the dominant one, etc. etc..
But then again, so what? What if I become not THE dominant one...not THE best looking one...but someone who happens to be dominant, etc.? Can't I command attention too? There's more than 1 girl in the world--and usually in any one place. Why is this a COMPETITION? Because I made it one. I came up with this world vs. me thing a long time ago. It's no wonder that it's a struggle to get past this.
Once I do, though--I believe I'll be...well...er...pretty natural :) I can't wait!
Also--I talked to the girl from the Care Home gig, who was at the fashion show as well. She was friendly--maybe slightly less energetic/interested towards me as last time--but perhaps it was because she was busy--or maybe sensed that I was trying a bit harder? Not sure. I talked to her a bit after the show as well....music, etc...and I was trying to use that intensity thing that I thought worked well with people like Brooke and Rania--but I think it may have been misplaced. I was talking about technical proficiency in music vs. feeling the soul of it--but maybe trying too hard for a connection? Maybe a bit of flirtation first may have kept tension down? In any case, she said "well, you can go with your friends"--not in a mean way--as they were leaving and we had planned to go to the union pub..but it was definitely a hint of an overstayed welcome. Not serious--but a hint of it.
Also I wasn't engaging any of her friends in conversation--perhaps she felt I was monopolizing her?
Few things there that I recognise--need to change.
Saw Lea in the bar tonight--she actually looked sexier than normal in a denim skirt (which I commented on) and hair over her face (which I also commented on--trying to work on observatino a bit more)
An opener leaving the tube--I was following a girl upstairs and tried to jokingly rush her--she ignored me. Then I asked her for directions to the Bogaloo--she answered--but maybe I creeped her out.
Again--it's the feeling behind this stuff. I JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN WITH IT!!!!!!
Keep at it--maybe out tomorrow night.
But you know something--hanging with Max helped me learn a few things!
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