Asked a girl in Gordon Sq. park about the path she takes (as per our discussion group--it was fine--talked for a minute. Nothing doing.)
I felt the mental block all day (despite doing some positive thinking self-hypnosis last night--which I actually did well on. I really called up all of the good interactions with women I could think of--and they really flowed pretty freely). When I met up w/K in Trafalgar Sq., I was definitely feeling the block, but suggested that we split up for 10 minutes or so and try a few. I did--very short side comments, but at least it was something. Of course now I realize that they don't really help me, but at least they get me out in the world, interacting.
We walked to the South Bank then back--don't think I said anything down there at all. But then--I proposed a CHALLENGE (which went well with Charlie back in January). We were in the middle of nowhere, but I said let's do 5 in 20 minutes. Then we went into a pub. Opened an American girl from Santa Barbara--"what--are you in hiding?" friendly--her boyfriend came back so I continued the banter for a minute or two to not look awkward. Then we played the quiz machine--I mentioned something about it to 2 more American girls standing behind me, but dead in the water. Maybe if my positioning was better--ie closer to them rather than calling from a machine, it woudl have helped.
We got to Traf sq. and I did well--we set the challenge for 3 opens in 10 minutes--and I did them. There was a cool projection of the Picasso exhibit on the National Gallery, so it served as a good conversation starter. I asked 3 sets--1 British, 1 Italian, and 1 group of 3 Czech girls--what it was all about. The first two didn't go anywhere--the third went well--ended up chatting about Picasso and what not--and I was watching the reaction of all 3. There was a not-so attractive blond in the middle who I was talking to the most--a quieter brunette next to her--she answered a question or two, but don't think I won her over--and the cutest of the three who was interacting quite well. I guessed they were French--they were Czech. There's SO MUCH I could have done with that--but I ejected well, and said I had to get back to my friend who's lost around Traf. somewhere....overall a good interaction.
Great ineraction w/Swedish barmaid at the Roadhouse--teasing/challenging/she was playing the friendly snob, but in a cool way. Great vibe there. Went to Porterhouse--quick exchange there--and a blowout at the Langley--but the girl had a boyfriend there, I think. Didn't have the guts to approach the seated group of 3-5 girls dressed in black...should have. Could have. Did have a good chat w/Kedar about atheism, though.
Kedar's definitely noticing the change in me--and he's getting more confident himself, although he had an off night and was frustrated by my challenge. I am realizing that I'm absolutely KILLING myself on these openers--and I should STOP, since I'm really making good progress! In a lot of ways I'm actually ahead of where I was last year in terms of overall self-esteem, and this is a great thing. So fucking WHAT if I let a bunch of girls go by on the street? Aren't these things more important--and eventually they'll lessen the pressure so I will be able to chat up whomever I want. I have to keep working on the openers for practice and desensitisation--but perhaps I should develop holistically, and this will follow.
Positives:
Several sets--some flirting, good banter--and some re-openers
Becoming pretty unreactive
Even though I have the mental knot, still worked it
Some realizations--opening randoms isn't the biggest deal in the world and I can let go of it and still be fine
Negative
STOP BEING AFRAID OF PEOPLE SITTING DOWN
Need to package myself better on many of the openers...cut down on random comments, etc.
Stay in set MUCH more often
Eject later
Need to pay more attention to the people IN the set
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